When Helena’s mother passed away at sixteen, she found her drive to succeed in the arts became less about her mother’s wishes and more about her desire to prove everyone else wrong. Ballet wasn’t going to be it, and she was never going to be good enough to play in anything other than a third rate orchestra somewhere in Jersey. So her focus shifted to acting. Having lived the life of the consummate actress her whole life, the role seemed to suit her just fine. With the money left to her after her mother’s death, she packed up her bags after high school and moved out to LA.
LA wasn’t as easy as she or anyone else ever thinks it will be. Of course everyone tells you that, but Helena really thought she could rise above. She found a theatre troupe early on, but it wasn’t like anyone actually came to the shows that mattered. Family and friends of others was about it. Not to mention, it didn’t exactly pay. So waitressing it up was the way to keep the lights on. At work, she found herself bored, depressed, and drinking in the back alley with one of the cooks when things got slow. One of the other girls at work told her about the Burlesque show she danced for and they were always looking for new talent … so Helena auditioned and got in. This wasn’t so much a calling as a solid outlet. Unlike the shotty theatre she performed for, this was where real acting was required. Here the goal was to make every last man and woman fall in love her every night. And it was here, that her Hollywood success story began.
Doug Liman, an up and coming director, came in one night with a few friends and after the show was the person Helena ended up bumming a cigarette off of. The fact that she landed an audition for his feature Go off of this night isn’t exactly her favorite story to tell, nor is it the sort of story Doug Liman loves her sharing, so the two quietly agreed that it was her performance in This is Our Youth that brought them together. The rest the story goes the same. They shared a cigarette, they philosophized, he told her to come out. Low and behold, she landed her first movie role.
Film acting was a lot more of a challenge for someone who has never done it before. The out of order nonsense, the emotional continuity to think of, the long hours, the crowd of people snacking on craft service while you’re giving an emotional beat … it was a lot of be thrown into and for such a large role at the time. Still, she managed to survive and emerge out of the editing process without looking like a fool. Better yet, she emerged from the experience with a couple friends in the right positions, and without a manager or agent scored a small role in Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous.
From there, everything was blue skies. With a lead in Ghost World secured with the help of her first agent, Helena was becoming the new IT girl in Hollywood. She was personable, knew how to knock an interview out of the park, and casting directors were falling all over themselves to put her in their next project. So when the opportunity to star in the comic book adaptation of Spider-man came along, Helena not only made the list, but she made the cut. The project was everything a young aspiring actress could’ve hoped for, the problem was … there was no real preparation for the aftermath of staring in one of the biggest franchises to hit the screen.
The perks were numerous, of course. The money, the access to roles, the access to everyone. If Helena wanted a meeting with someone, she got the meeting. If she wanted an audition, she got the audition. The fame on the other hand … the stalking, the crowds, the internet commentary, it was enough to drive her toward all those other things that became easy access at that stage in the game. Outside of alcohol, coke became Helena’s biggest vice. She started to party hard, and drew attention from the paparazzi for all the night clubs she hit up and the numerous men she would enter or leave with. None of it felt very real. In fact, the only time she ever felt anything real were on the sets of the few indie films she had the opportunity to make in-between her superhero love interest duties.
There became a desperation for meatier roles, for anything that wasn’t just someone’s love interest or a supporting character role. While the roles she was landing were superb, the one she really wanted was that of Edie Sedgwick in Factory Girl. Only, this time, she wasn’t the one anyone wanted. No one thought she could handle it. No one thought she looked like her. No one had any faith. Helena was a party girl at this point in her career, why would anyone want to hire her for a role that was destined to win some lucky girl an Oscar? There was nothing that would stop her though, there was nothing she wouldn’t resort to in order to have that role. The role of someone she felt she deeply understood, and in fact, would help her battle her own set of demons.
Rumors flew when Helena landed the role that she had slept with Harvey Weinstein for the part. That the agreement had been she’d not just get the role, but he’d throw all his money behind her Oscar campaign. The rumors were vicious, and Helena found herself hiding from them as best she could, but the press was relentless. The set was stalked, she could hardly find a moment to herself on set to get into character, and absolutely everyone involved on the production side made her life very difficult. But she turned in a hell of a performance despite all the naysayers. And when Oscar season came around, it was her name that was left off the list.
By the end of the third Spider-man, Helena no longer wanted to be a part of the industry. Her family had been right all along. This wasn’t the job for her. Not with the way people treated her. Her worth felt determined by a committee of magazines and the academy. Her star was falling, she was back to auditioning and there were more than a few casting directors that wouldn’t even consider hiring her. So she left. Packed her bags and moved to New Orleans on a whim. Spider-man had given her more than enough money to last her for the rest of her life, and her mother’s trust fund for her would fill in any gaps. Helena was exhausted and knew that there was more to life than what some magazine wanted to say about you. And that, was that.
Well, sort of.
Derek Cianfrance had approached Helena years earlier about the film Blue Valentine. The project was a dream, but that’s all it every seemed like it would be. The money was never there, and while every so often, Derek would send her an update, she just gave up on the film ever happening. Only, two years into her retirement, he flew out to see her because they finally had the money. Even with everything she’d gone through, every nasty thing written or said about her, Derek still wanted her if she still wanted in. He gave her the weekend to think about it and by the end of the weekend, she was boarding a plane to join him, for what she believed could be her last real role. This was the way to end her film career, not with Spider-man 3, the most critically panned film of that year, and probably of prior years as well.Blue Valentine is the movie she will forever credit as saving not just her career, but her life too. The film felt like a shot of adrenaline to her system. This was what she was supposed to be doing. This was what movies should be. This was what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. It was also the film that allowed her to make the film choices that followed, the film that put her on a different kind of list, the film that allowed her to reinvent herself as a serious actress, and one you would actually want to cast. The movie put her on a path she has yet to stray from and one she plans to stay on for the remainder of her career.
